I can’t remember where I found this, but it’s fantastic.

I recently watched Breakfast At Tiffany’s again. I remember it being horrible (and horribly racist, of course) but I don’t think I remembered how horrible. I have no idea how that movie won Oscars. Holly Golightly is a vapid, obnoxious and largely uninteresting character. The plot is transparent. And not that the world cared then, but it’s deeply sexist.

With that in mind, it’s also a style-gasm. This I admit.

I want her sleep mask, bathtub sofa, and suitcases. (I already have her phone)

In case you’re feeling super handy or super generous, those tub-sofas are both DIY-able and available for purchase. WINK WINK WINK

My proper Halloween costume was in Columbus, but I managed to whip a little bit of awesome together for dinner Downtown this evening in Santa Cruz.

Meet Oracle, formerly Batgirl, (she got shot in the spine by the Joker, paralyzing her from the waist down,) whose super power is *drumroll* USING THE INTERNET REALLY REALLY WELL.

Seriously. <3

We live in the future.

Once upon a time ago, getting nude photos was a whole process. You had to find a place that was willing to develop actual film that had nudes on it, which wasn’t an easy thing to ask the counter clerk about to begin with, and then you ran the risk of the employees running doubles and keeping copies of your photos. No fun.

Eventually, digital cameras happened, and with them, the rise of ammateur nude photography. Still, it was sort of, a little bit, contained. Cameras were still cameras, and expensive to buy, and uploading them to computers was like rocket science for half (I’m being generous) the population. Granted, once you emailed it to someone, you were damn near guaranteed that your image would end up on a site, somewhere, in the world.

Then along came the cell-phone camera. Enter a world where we are all utterly fucked. Nude photos EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME, there is no escape! Which I’m okay with to an extent because hey, naked photos are pretty great. The problem has become privacy.

By now, I should hope, we have all heard the term “blaming the victim” and understand it to be a negative phrase. One should not, under any circumstance, blame the victim in any sort of sex crime. And with the overflow of technological temptation, I dare say that, at this point, this includes victims of unauthorized distribution of personal images.

Anti-sexting videos are popping-up, and while I understand the goal is to prevent underage pornography from spreading, it still blames the victim- and this is true of anti-sexting messages intended for any age group. It’s her fault she took them and “degraded” herself. What? No. She didn’t degrade herself. She flirted with her lover. The person who mass-texted her photo to their whole contact list is the person who degraded her. Beat the living shit out of that person, but don’t blame her for being flirtatious and having the nerve to trust her lover. (Like, who hasn’t trusted the wrong person at some point?)

A couple weeks ago, at 6am EST (3am to me), jet-lagged and exhausted, I got a sext. It was from a gorgeous, spread-eagle young woman, asking me if I liked the photo. Sleepily, I giggled, and put the phone down to go back to sleep. About ten minutes later, I got another text from her, asking if I got the first. I replied with “Who the fuck are you?” because I was getting pissed she was waking me up. I went back to sleep.

Later in the afternoon it occurred to me that there was now a woman, somewhere in Ohio, who was utterly mortified that she had sent her photo to the wrong number, and terrified it would end up on the internet, I’m sure. Poor girl.

Now, I’ve told this story a dozen times since then, because I think it/ her timing was hilarious. But you know what I didn’t do? Forward her photo to everyone I know and share the image that goes along with the story.

Because that is fucked-up.

For real. Look.

(Click)

I ordered a bottle. I need to know.

I know what you’re thinking. But Ms. Yve, you are the world’s foremost expert in pussy! Surely you don’t need a portable reminder!

Correct, little Johnny, but I want to know what some fuckface has decided the most marketable, ideal pussy, smells like.

This is literally like asking which flower smells the most pleasing.

Do we really want to create a market standard for pussy scents? That’s so ridiculous. We already did it for breast size/shape and look how well that turned out. Celebrities are having their implants removed left and right (pun not intended,) because it was a bullshit notion to think there is such a thing as an ideal breast. When you remove diversity, you remove everything good in the world. Please, god, leave pussy alone. Women are already having labiaplasty (NO! BAD! IT IS OKAY TO HAVE LABIA!) and now this is creeping-up?

Creep indeed.

Lemme put this out there: Boys, girls, labia lips are amazing and all pussy smells different -and hot as a result. Breasts also come in a hundred shapes and sizes, all of which are fucking fabulous. And if you disagree with me, you’re a moron. Beauty standards are for small-minded assholes who love khaki pants and white bread. Grow up.

This is my purple contribution.

If you hate fags, you hate me -and you know what? I know how to kill you first.

Practice love and acceptance, kids. Not bigotry.

As some of you may know, I am in the midst of dealing with a family emergency. It’s taking some serious time and energy, as all things of this nature do. Point being, I am not being elusive on purpose, so please send me prayers instead of hate mail.

Please feel free to email me. I will get back to you as soon as I possibly can!